Locked in a Basement with Sloshie

Posted May 11th 2007 6:35PM by Slammo
Filed under: Slammo

Alright, so Sloshie tells me that my contract with Keaton Transworld says I have to write these damn things. Maybe I shoulda read those contracts. Of course, if I want out I always have the "I'll kick your ass clause" at the ready. Pansies.

So, for my first formal entry, I'd like to talk a little about what it was like to be locked in a basement with Sloshie for more than 20 years:

Imagine, if you can, sharing a room with a bunny. But this bunny can talk. And when it talks, razor blades fly out of its rabid little mouth and slice your eyeballs open. Then, this asshole bunny giggles and pees into the open slits. And while you writhe around on the ground with bunny acid pee in your razor-slit eyes, the bunny starts smearing crap all over you. And then it hops on you. And juggles puppies.

So yeah, you may say I've learned to hate Sloshie. I should have killed him while I had the chance.

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