Sometimes life isn't one big box of shit stuffed with crap. Why? Did you watch the show? Well, if you missed it, go watch it. I'm not sure if elephanticide is a word... but it is now.

It felt good to kill something after so many years without blood on my hands. And besides the fact that the big stupid elephant was asking for it, maybe this will finally give that little green pansy some balls. Ain't nothing better than a well-fueled rage bomb to motivate even the weakest of wussies to become a real soldier. Let's hope Sloshie learned his lesson. Of course, I'd be happy to teach it to him again if he didn't. Many, many times, in fact.

Speaking of Sloshie... he hasn't been around lately. I stopped by the set to give him his weekly swirlie and he was nowhere to be found. Very suspicious. I'll have to keep an eye out for something retarded.